I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am puke
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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