please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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