im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
