First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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