If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
