I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
