Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
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Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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