We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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