In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
