He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
