I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
