North Korea, Best Korea!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
