I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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