Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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