I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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