you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Randomize
