If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
