Buhtt sex?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
