I want to make a zoo with you.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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