Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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