Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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