do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
