you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
