they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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