The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
