I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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