WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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