he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
