Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
