I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
