the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
