Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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