Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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