there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
