Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
