the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
