I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
