Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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