Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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