before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
