please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
