I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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