Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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