Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
