I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
