he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
