I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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