What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
