he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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