Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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