I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
