Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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