i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
