I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
