I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
