garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just had sex bonerless
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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