but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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