I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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